Abominable Fish Monster

posted Tuesday, February 4th 2014 at 7:58 PM by

Ice Fishing

So there we were, separated from civilization by miles of snow and ice, struggling to survive. Low on snacks and beer, there were only two things to do, catch fish and chew bubble gum. And we still had plenty of bubble gum.

Actually we limited out on walleye, even had to release a few that were in the 20" and over slot. All said, it was a pretty awesome trip.

The photo was one of the better ones taken. The other photo is just a shot of us looking down at the ice hole with disbelief. How did it all go wrong?

"I don't think my bobber is working."

"Why not?"

"It stopped floating."

"Really? Humor me for a moment, try pulling your line up."

He begins pulling line in hand over hand.

"Does it feel like anything is there?"

"I don't know."

"Well, does it feel any heavier than a bobber and a minnow?"

"I really don't have a frame of reference for that."

Nothing else was said as he pulled the rest of the line in.

Suddenly the mighty fish breached the surface of the water.

"Keep the line tight!"


"The line, keep tension on it."


The hook came free and landed unceremoniously on the floor. The fish lay there with its jaw just above the surface of the water, its beady eyes sizing us up. It snarled at me with its ferocious teeth and gaping jaws. Thinking quickly I removed my pliers from the sheath on my belt. Using the tool I grabbed the beast by its terrifying jaw and hoisted the monster from the deep.

"Holy shit."

I measured the mighty fish against the tape. It was a marvelous fish, but clearly in the release slot at 28 inches.

"Its too big. We'll have to put it back."

"Let me get a photo."

"All right, grab it like this, and I'll hand it to you."

I demonstrated proper fish holding technique. As we made the transaction, he attempted to grab the fish by the scruff of the neck, just like a cat.


"Aww shit!"

The mighty fish took an immediate nose dive, and returned to the icy deep by the only means available as he splashed directly into the ice hole.

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