So I woke up after class and I said to myself:
"Self, you need some kind of energy drink to stay awake though your next class."
So I went to the IACC to buy a Mt. Dew or something carbonated and there was this cute girl shaking the piss out of the vending machine.
"Shake it harder girl!"
She looked at me funny.
"My Doritos are stuck."
"We'll thats because you got the Nacho Cheese Doritos, and not the Cooler Ranch... which is obviously better."
"So are you going to help me?"
"I would love to rock it with you."
So I shook the machine for a while and everything was falling out. M&M's... the healthy peanuts that no one ever buys...
Then finally the Doritos gave in and plummeted.
She started to thank me and say something about how she appreciated it... then I said:
"Listen, I didn't even get your name. Why don't you give me your number and we'll get together later for coffee or sex."
I handed her my phone expecting her to walk away but instead she started putting in her number and told me:
"I don't really like coffee."