Happy birthday America! You barely look a day over 200.
And why not celebrate the independence of your country by blowing up a small portion of it? Especially when Starr Fireworks has a 15% Military Discount.
Now that's more bang for your buck.
Ahem, so instead of spending 200$ on fireworks I probably should've taken out a larger life insurance policy. Oh well.
"So what's the preferred method to lighting this Roman Candle? Aim away from face?"
"Yeah... that and hold it in your non-dominate hand. Ya know... just in case."
God Bless America.